Peace in the Moonlight
While sitting in the Dasher Memorial Heart Center today the intercom breaks my families conversation with an alarming, “CODE BLUE (pause) FOURTH FLOOR”. We were waiting for results after my step dad’s open heart surgery…
Code Blue: when a patient is “crashing”
Our hearts skipped a beat and it took a second for us to realize thankfully we were on the THIRD floor. Whew.
Earlier this morning we had a very nice and very detailed RN come and speak with the family. He told us a story of his wife who had a similar surgery. He said she didn’t drink, ran marathons, and even ate healthy (opposite of our patient) and still had to get the same surgery done later in life. His point was that no matter what we control in our life sometimes the universe has plans for us that we cannot control no matter what precautions we have sewn prior as preparation.
This had me thinking once again about pre destiny and fate. I mean what do we actually have control over?
Also, sitting in a hospital for a day waiting to see if your family member survives a surgery puts life into perspective real quick. Just in case you forget. It makes you think about death and loss and well… what matters most. Family. You can’t take your “stuff” to the grave with you so materialistic things are irrelevant. I empathized and envisioned how it must feel to have a surgery like that. Knowing that the possibility of not waking up is possible. Sending your mind through a collage of memories and moments dear to your heart or maybe loss and regret depending upon the person and their life lived.
I’m personally not really good with direct emotional support. My style is a little more tough. I suppose it’s because I don’t let others see me cry and I have always preferred to be alone when sick. I just deal with things better alone and work through it.
As I looked at my mom she had dark circles under her eyes from lack of sleep but still beautiful as always but a little more fragile than I would have liked to see her. It’s weird – the older I get the more I realize how much we have in common. We are starting to finish each others sentences. I’m turning into her as the years pass. Good thing she’s awesome.
In order to relieve some stress I do what I always do and hit the gym for a long run until my mind is calm and my breathing is level.
After my workout I laid in the sauna and listened to one of my favorite classical pieces of all time…
Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata
I find peace and comfort in this song and all is right in the world again.
My step dad is going to be fine by the way because he is a true OG. Ya feel me? With a spirit that will keep you laughing. 🙂
Photocred & Graphic T By: Sebasebi