Vulnerability is Love
I think this word we all as humans try to shield ourself from. It’s exposure to who you really are. It’s exposure to your true feelings and emotion.
I am guilty of shielding my heart from pain and protecting myself. It’s normal we think…
Life is not about protecting yourself though. Life is living in the moment. Life is breaking down those barriers and really exposing your true self to others without the fear of rejection.
Rejection. Another word that we shield ourselves from. No one likes to be rejected. Isn’t it better though to be rejected for who you are then to hide behind someone you aren’t?
I feel the most vulnerable when I sing. I know I have a great voice and to me singing is therapeutic and a way for me to talk with God but I don’t do it in front of others because of fear. Fear of rejection. Fear of being vulnerable.
These two words vulnerability and rejection… they are something we all deal with on a daily basis. We can overcome these imaginary emotions through self love and respect and living honestly. Living who you really are.
Laying out by the pool yesterday a girl shamelessly took a selfie and I thought, “good for her”. I respect shameless selfies. I don’t respect the ones that try to hide it or that do the selfie from the side pretending that someone else took it. You know? I mean if you’re going to do a selfie do it with no shame and own it. Own that selfie. Smile really big and love yourself. 🙂
Love yourself and be proud of who you really are. Self acceptance is the first step. We were all made perfectly unique. One of a kind. Isn’t that something to celebrate?
Be fearless. Be happy. Be you.
“Life is not about protecting yourself”
Your post today, especially the segment I quoted above, opened a door in my mind for me to realize I could now articulate the following. This is kind of big step for me, as detailed below.
When I moved from NC where I attended a small, private, Christian academy run my church, to GA and started attending sixth grade at a public school, it was a rude awakening to the “real world”. Over the next few years and through high school, I foolishly developed an ideology that if I don’t feel, then I can’t be hurt. I like to think I ran a decent cover about what was really going on inside, but looking back, I probably wasn’t as fiendishly clever as I thought I was at the time.
Over those seven years I did a pretty good job at stunting my inner emotional growth all in the name of trying to protecting myself. Oh, how I wish I could go back to that sixth grade version of myself and convince him that it’s OK to be vulnerable, to feel, to be open to emotional hurt from others. Because the opposite is also true. In the name of preventing others from having the power to hurt or reject me, I also crippled my ability to let people pour love and care and positivity into my life and accept who I am.
It wasn’t until I left for college that I realized that the path I was on was not one that was working for me. Despite my best efforts to not feel so others couldn’t hurt me, I did, as after all, I’m human. My “road to recovery” began then. I slooooowly started to open myself up to new people, new possibilities, new pieces of life I’d previously shut myself off from. A somewhat amusing byproduct of all this is that these days, when I feel, boy, I feel. It’s like a backlog of emotion that wants out. Unfortunately, being half a childhood behind in learning how to process those emotions, well, makes for some awkward, frustrating, and, once in a while, amusing times.
All this is not something I’ve not really shared before. I think I’ve only ever told one or two people, but I’m sharing in the open in the hopes that someone, somewhere won’t repeat my mistake. I’m still having to work hard at to this day to not turtle up inside at times and I’ve had some successes and backsliding over the years. I’m not great at this whole being vulnerable thing or being able to share my emotions or accept myself and whatnot. However, bit by bit, year by year, I’m getting better. What keeps me going is knowing that with the bad, the hurt, the rejection, comes a whole lot of good, nurturing love from those who genuinely accept me. 🙂