A Lesson in Letting Go

Such a beautiful and perfectly timed lesson

Enjoy ❤️

In order to receive something you have to release something

Certain changes are not embraced they have to be forced

Exodus 15:5

Pharaohs plagues were Israelites freedom

If a lot is coming against you that means God has put a lot in you

Lord allows something around you to shut down and die so something within can come alive

Certain freedoms in our lives have to be forced

The only way that God sets us free from certain things he has to take them away

God has taught me to appreciate the little things like eating out, my health, freedom, my family, my job

Gratitude in life’s smallest pleasures allows more blessings

You can’t move forward until you can let go of what you’ve been holding on to

Releasing what you have no control over

Romans 12:1-2

Just because you’re used to it doesn’t mean it’s normal or good for you. The old way has to die for a new way to come alive.

You’re stuck in something that is old. New blessings cannot be received because of what you can’t release.

You can either conform or transform

Set your agenda from within and be guided by the Holy Spirit.

Israelites never got to say goodbye to Egypt and even though it was killing them- it’s what they knew. Even if something is not what you want it’s what you know which makes change and transitions harder to allow to trust God with faith and the challenge of letting go of something when you don’t even know what you’re reaching for yet.

The way God changes us is through transforming you on the inside

God is allowing us to unlearn how the world works to see how he works.

What’s in front of you is greater than what you’re leaving behind

When you tighten your fists and clench you’re muscles and then release that is what happens when you release control and look around at what you have left instead of what you have lost.

Release your need to know.

Shed everything that doesn’t serve a purpose or come from God.

God making your habits new to come into alignment with your new heart in Christ and shatter the patterns that have kept you in prison and set you free to worship him out of a lifestyle, relationship, yourself, your old way of thinking, your ego

The old is gone and the new has come.

The only way for Israel to step into freedom was to completely leave Egypt.

❤️ Elevation Church

You don’t know

You don’t know

You can see what I show you

but you don’t know what i’ve gone through

they say children are resilient but i disagree

you didn’t know the child who was me


Pity is an insult and i wear this strength with a deadbolt

you don’t know

you only see what I show you

but you don’t know, only what I want you to


Beat a dog and it will respond

two ways only

one option is fight the other is run

neither is fun


Love isn’t easy for everyone so

I wear this badge proudly its hard enough to know

that the people you trust will let you down eventually

It’s why my fallback is God, internal growth and spirituality


Each lesson a mark that teaches you growth

you learn through others how not to treat your foes

I can honestly say I’m grateful for the strife

It’s taught me how to love no matter who hurts you in this life


It’s a choice at the end of the day

One that I consciously make and rarely stray

Anger is too heavy, regret a waste, this life is beautiful no matter the taste

So keep your head up and eyes on the sun

never look back and don’t second guess your run


So you don’t know

how proud i am of the woman I have become

I regret nothing

and refuse to go numb


If I say I love you

take it to the grave

I’ll never stop caring for the people I love

or forget the memories I have made


My daughter is perfect and I’ll protect her light

I’ll never let her feel what I had to fight

It’s why my standards are high and my expectations great

If God’s not in it I won’t open the gate








The Golden Retriever

The picture of loyalty

The strut of grace

The saddest eyes

But beautiful face

The blood of a winner

The coat shiny and neat

The toss of a ball

You bring back to my feet

Reliable and kind

Your old soul knows best

When your master calls

You wield no rest

The years have been hard

This winter quite cold

But for some reason

You never fold

The once shiny strong mane

Now scattered with grey

Your love endures forever

It doesn’t stray

Now a limp in your run

A sharp pain down your spine

You still don’t give up

Although you do pine

The last years are easy

You’ve gone through enough

With shelter and comfort

Your spirit is tough

The best thing a dog can teach you in this life rings true.

Nothing more Important than to love and be loved in this life and through the next too.

Happy Mother’s Day!

I prayed for a boy mainly because I didn’t want to deal with me as a teenager but God blessed me with the most gentle and sweet little girl instead. I’m so grateful for her. She teaches me so much about how to be more gentle and patient and selfless. She brings a lot of joy into my life and anyone else she meets. She is such a light and has this really creative loud and funny personality that just keeps everyone laughing. I couldn’ t have picked a more perfect baby that pushed me into my hardest and most rewarding job in this life.

My labor with her was traumatic to say the least and I remembered praying that God take my life instead and let her live because after 17 hours of pushing and two epidurals not taking and still feeling everything… I’d lost too much blood to do the emergency c-section. I just wanted her to take my life if that’s what it came down to. It wasn’t until then that I learned the true power of motherhood and the miracle of giving birth. How our natural instinct to care so much for someone we have never met automatically just takes over. It’s very powerful and terrifying at the same time. Luckily she came out healthy but it took me 6 months to regain my strength. I’d do it all over again and I’d say the same prayer. There is no love stronger than the bond between a mother and their child.

The family church ❤️

My granny, who raised me, was a tough no nonsense and strong woman. She had 6 children naturally no pain medication. She had them by herself most of the time because my papa as a drill sergeant in the army was gone a lot or held two jobs at a time. Then when they bought our family farm he was holding two jobs as well as running the farm. She taught me how to work hard, to never start a fight but always finish it, she pushed me to not settle for anything less than a win, to help others in need, to be kind to everyone especially the less fortunate, to be fiercely independent, to never settle, but more important than anything else she taught me to put God first in everything. She is the only person till this day that can tell me what to do and actually listen, her and God. I’m so grateful for her and everything she has done for me.

My mother is my rock now more than ever. She’s been through so much and has still remained full of love. I get my free spirit and forgiving heart from her and my strength and resilience from my granny. I’m so thankful to have them both and to be able to share them with my daughter.

Becoming a mother made me respect all mothers more than I ever did before. You see and feel the sacrifices we take daily to pour into our children and you see how much your mothers and grandmothers poured into you. It’s made me realize how important it is to provide our little girls with love and kindness and a pure and healthy environment because they to will become mothers one day and then grandmothers and I just hope to be that protection and support that she needs to become the best version of us all.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there. You deserve to be showered and adored today for everything you do and for all the sacrifices you have made. Today is your day.

God bless,


Redeeming Love

I know I promised you my best

I feel I failed the test

Let fear speak right through to me

God said my child just let it be


You see I never left your side

You took control and let me ride

I’m only here to hold your hand

And lead you to the promised land


Right now I feel I’ve lost my way

I feel I lost another day

I don’t know what else to say

but I can’t go on this way


I said God I can’t let this go

I’ve hit this never-ending plateau

I’ve lost all faith in everything

Here you can take the reins


God said you never lost your way

I saw your eyes looked sad everyday

so I said can I help you please

Will you have trust in me?


You see I never left your side

You took control and let me ride

I’m only here to hold your hand

And lead you to the promised land


I said I’m sorry God you’re right

I don’t need to win every fight

I was never truly free

Until you redeemed me


Life gets really hard sometimes

Some can be so unkind

I put my trust in the blind

Until you redeemed me


Thank you so much for your love

Unending pure euphoric love

Something only found from within and above

Thanks for redeeming me


Sending love and light to everyone through this pandemic.  May we all find a way to transcend above it by placing our trust and faith in him.


Proverbs 3: 5-6

Isaiah 41:10

Psalm 37:5

1 Corinthians 2:5

Mark 10:52


It’s not personal. It’s internal.

Don’t take what others do or say to you so personally.  The way others treat you or speak to you is their own personal drama.  It has nothing to do with you.  The way you react and respond or tolerate that drama is your personal drama.  It is your job to understand your reaction to what others do or say to you and it is up to you to create those healthy boundaries. If you’re not happy that is your problem and your responsibility.

You’re not a victim and no person or situation is good or bad. It’s just simply lessons we have to learn.  Our life is a compilation of the choices we have made that got us to this point. You can either surrender to it and accept the lessons with gratitude and grace and grow from it or you can place blame on others for your distress.  Everything in life is a choice and our lives a product of those choices.

When you’re angry with someone your anger is just a result of a lesson you have yet to learn or need to and once that lesson is learned you can turn your anger into understanding and use it to evolve. Anger is ignorance and I say this from a place of humility and love because these lessons are lessons that I have learned and have to remind myself of daily.

We all know that exercise is good for us and aids to the longevity of our life but doing it daily or weekly is a discipline that we have to nurture just like our internal dialogue and emotional health.  I am tougher on the people I love the most because I hold them to a higher standard but I realize too often that my expectations are unrealistic and unattainable because I myself strive for perfection that I’ll never reach and I have to learn to relieve those closest to me of that as well as myself. I/We have to learn how to love ourselves and our flaws and only then can you love others for their true selves. All one in this life really ever wants is to be loved, accepted, and appreciated.

When we are born we are perfect in every way. An image and a likeness of God.  As we grow we are taught from our parents how to navigate our emotions and we receive energy in those moments or are depleted of it.  We all have a way of controlling others whether it’s consciously or subconscious. We learn this in childhood from our mentors/parents. We must go back to our past and truly understand how this habit is formed. This is called your control drama. It’s the way you were conditioned through your family experience.  You have to take your emotions out of it to logically examine why your parents became who they were and why you became who you are as a product of them.  Once you can do this and understand it your real life will start to take shape and you discover who you really are and your purpose in this life.  Everyone manipulates for energy either aggressively or passively.  A good example of this is just paying attention to how you feel after spending your time around someone.  They either leave you feeling depleted or energized. Once you recognize your own drama you are released from the act you play and are freed to find a higher meaning for your life.  There is a spiritual reason you were born to your family. This is the path to find your true destiny. You have to uncover the things you learned from your parents and what you would do better and do it as a part of your journey because after all we are not only a physical representation of our parents but also a spiritual one. Their imprint on you had an immutable effect. Look at that from a higher perspective and figure out what they stood for and from that figure out what you stand for. Take time to clear your past so you can transcend past it and the cycles you keep experiencing or ruts you get stuck in.

Sadly most do not levitate from the ego.  They either do not want to do the inner work to relinquish it or can’t see past their own drama cycles. However, if you allow what you learn from your past childhood family experience you can use it to focus on a higher truth beyond the energy conflict. This will bring you more clarity on your path and when you start to recognize syncronicities or Godwinks then you know you are on the “right” path. We all have a spiritual purpose that we have been pursuing without even realizing it.  Think back to everything that has happened to you since birth and all the friends, relationships, life altering events and bring those meaningful moments into consciousness. This will reveal your evolutionary identity.

I’ve experienced these coincidences (signs) when I’ve listened to my heart my internal compass and followed God’s path for my life which lies in all of us. It’s not a path that anyone else can understand but you. It is why people meditate or need time alone to hear it.  When you clear your drama and rise above it you can walk in the light and follow your destiny with clarity and pure good intentions.

Love & Light


The Celestine Prophecy


Get happier by doing this 15 min exercise…

You can boost your happiness for yourself and others by doing this simple 15 minute exercise…

1) Close your eyes and picture yourself. You imagine something good happening to you like falling in love, writing something you’re proud of. You feel the joy that would come from that. Let it flow through you.

2) Then you picture someone you love, and imagine something wonderful happening for them. Feel the joy from that and let that flow through you.

3) Picture someone you don’t really know that you saw in passing or interacted with that day and imagine something good happening for them. Try to feel joy for that person and let it flow through you.

4) Picture someone you don’t like, and try to imagine something good happening for that person. You try to replicate the same feeling of joy for them as for yourself or loved ones. Imagine how good they would feel and how moved they would be.

5) Then you picture someone you really dislike or someone that you envy. Try to feel real joy for even them and while meditating even if you don’t feel that way at all eventually you’ll find that the toxic weight you carry while thinking of them dissipates over a short period of time.

Do this every day for 15 minutes. Give yourself at least a month.

This meditation sets the intention to feel different. You start to see the happiness of others as a joy for yourself. This feeling is happiness and warmth is tender. It’s almost like people become your children and you have the same warm happiness you have for your child when they’re having fun or happy and get something they like…you can feel this for a stranger. Another way of coexisting in a healthier and happier way with others is by focusing on the things you love about them.

This will lift your vibrations and your energy and light will illuminate through you.


Music connects us all

Visiting a village in the mountains of Coban, Guatemala I sat just 2 meters from a little girl who was very shy.  I noticed her because she didn’t want to participate in the games the group created for the children. She was the only one who stayed behind.  I made it my mission to connect with her so I sat far enough away where she didn’t feel threatened yet close enough I was in her gaze and within ear shot.  I started singing a song I loved when I was a child.  Slowly she slid closer and closer until she was right beside me.  I smiled and kept singing in English because I wasn’t proficient in Q’eqchi, her native tongue.  She started humming and before you knew it got up and started playing with everyone.

Music allows us to connect through all cultures no matter the obstacles we face.  The frequency and vibrations sent out with love and intent are felt through the music.  This is such a powerful way to bring us all closer together so we can learn and grow through love without words.

So keep singing and be mindful of the intent behind the words you listen to and welcome in. It is powerful enough to dull or brighten your soul.


I didn’t get a picture of the little girl from the village but this one above is special and one of those playing that day. I didn’t want to have children until I met her. She came up to me every morning and had to touch my hair.  She looked at me like I was an angel and she warmed up my soul in ways I couldn’t have imagined. Thank God for this little girl and her light.




Had to go see my girlfriend sing at orchard.church in Denver on a Saturday who is preparing to welcome her first baby angel in APRIL 2020!!!

Just the day before I was speaking to a co-worker about the very message the sermon was about. I love when that happens. God is like oh you got a problem. Well here is your answer. I don’t know who needs to see this but below are just my notes on the sermon. In person is always best but hopefully you’ll get something out of it as well…

Matt5.9 God blesses those who work for peace

When we put ourselves first we put peace last

Rom 12:17-18
Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. Do all that you can to be at peace with everyone.

Be a peace maker not a peace taker

I love you, I’m sorry, I value our relationship, we want to work this out

We are not just a Christian home we are a Christ centered home

Peacemakers work through not around issues

Crucial conversations…

How to get more peace:

1) speak the truth in love
Eph. 4:15
Instead we will speak the truth in love growing in every way more like Christ
Only do it in non conflict times
Confront the issue
do not attack the person

When you don’t listen to me I don’t feel like I’m important to you

2)Apologize when you’re wrong
Js 5:16
Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other that you may be healed

Never follow up an apology with an excuse

I’m sorry I raised my voice and belittled you I won’t do that again

1)I am sorry 2)I was wrong 3) please forgive me

3) forgive and let go
On the authority of God’s word you can forgive and let go

Col 3:13
Make allowance for each other’s faults and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember the Lord forgave you so you must forgive others

As soon as we say yes to Jesus in faith the next step is to follow Jesus.
Followed up w fellowship

GOD BLESS🤗💓IMG_20191117_091953_221


Go for the butterflies not the buffer…

Everyone has different motivations in sorting through their selection process.

I know women who are happy settling with someone they are not attracted to just for the money or status.

Some want children and settle for someone they’re not in love with because they feel as though their time is limited to have a child. The guy may check all the other boxes of what they want in a partner so they dive in.

Some are arranged. Some similar religious beliefs… You get the point but mostly I’ve found that people settle for what’s easy and logical vs passion or love.

Some say they can learn to love a person but I cringe anytime I hear that. Who wants to be tolerated or someone that has to be learned how to love. No thanks.

In most of my serious relationships I knew immediately if there was a connection. Chemistry was felt in the first glance, interaction, discussion.

Now after plenty of experience and some failed and some successful attempts at love I never want to settle again.

We have two options in the dating game:

You can hold out for that special person. Someone who gives you butterflies…

Or you can settle for the buffer

I personally want to wait for something special because it’s easy to settle. It’s harder to wait and have patience for the right person to come into your life at the right moment.

I know these relationships exist because I witness them throughout my travels and I’m hopeful knowing how I’ve felt in the past that I’ll find those qualities again in perfect timing.

The first step to a healthy relationship is to be in a healthy relationship with yourself and I found the most PERFECT book for just that: The Mastery of Love

Such a phenomenal read and now one of my favorite books that teaches you forgiveness, self acceptance, navigating fear based beliefs, how to find happiness within yourself, and so much more.

So do yourself a favor read that book and quit settling for anything less than what you want and deserve. Even if life doesn’t give you the timeline you had hoped for. You’re doing someone else a disservice and missing out on what could be your forever if you settle on the buffer instead of waiting on the butterflies.





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