Go for the butterflies not the buffer…
Everyone has different motivations in sorting through their selection process.
I know women who are happy settling with someone they are not attracted to just for the money or status.
Some want children and settle for someone they’re not in love with because they feel as though their time is limited to have a child. The guy may check all the other boxes of what they want in a partner so they dive in.
Some are arranged. Some similar religious beliefs… You get the point but mostly I’ve found that people settle for what’s easy and logical vs passion or love.
Some say they can learn to love a person but I cringe anytime I hear that. Who wants to be tolerated or someone that has to be learned how to love. No thanks.
In most of my serious relationships I knew immediately if there was a connection. Chemistry was felt in the first glance, interaction, discussion.
Now after plenty of experience and some failed and some successful attempts at love I never want to settle again.
We have two options in the dating game:
You can hold out for that special person. Someone who gives you butterflies…
Or you can settle for the buffer
I personally want to wait for something special because it’s easy to settle. It’s harder to wait and have patience for the right person to come into your life at the right moment.
I know these relationships exist because I witness them throughout my travels and I’m hopeful knowing how I’ve felt in the past that I’ll find those qualities again in perfect timing.
The first step to a healthy relationship is to be in a healthy relationship with yourself and I found the most PERFECT book for just that: The Mastery of Love
Such a phenomenal read and now one of my favorite books that teaches you forgiveness, self acceptance, navigating fear based beliefs, how to find happiness within yourself, and so much more.
So do yourself a favor read that book and quit settling for anything less than what you want and deserve. Even if life doesn’t give you the timeline you had hoped for. You’re doing someone else a disservice and missing out on what could be your forever if you settle on the buffer instead of waiting on the butterflies.